I'm an expert on Sirens.

Comments from friends and family

2010-11-08T15:16:00.005-07:00

Around February: Hey, are you still dating that girl? You should blog about it or something

May-ish: Sorry to hear about your breakup. What's new? You haven't posted in a while...

June: Nobody blogs anymore!

August: Hear you've got a new girlfriend! When do we get to meet her?

Late October: Man, sucks that it didn't work out... you ready to start dating again?

Today: It's been almost 11 months since you've blogged. You could at least mention Vader.

So, 2010 in review: 2 short-term relationships. I ended one, I was just about ended by the other. So I got a dog. He's a miniature schnauzer, and I've named him Dog Vader, Dark Lord of the Chew Toys.I find your lack of treats disturbing.

I also ranked twice in Kung Fu. (have I even mentioned Kung Fu? I started going last December) I got my Gold (Metal) sash in April, and my Blue (Water) sash in August. I was awarded Most Outstanding Beginner student (beating the 300 pound guy and the dude who never shows up). I'm also the only Hsing-I student there, so I get quite the unique experience.

Here's little Vader..Why are you taking pictures instead of drying me off?

What the bad man did to my car...

2009-12-23T22:43:00.003-07:00

Twas the week before Christmas, and par for the course, Jer was heading to work for his IT outsource.

Although it was Saturday, the server was corrupted. He had to fix it off hours so no work’s interrupted.

Committed to go, he jumped in his Mustang. (Although he left his key card behind- dang!)

Before very long (he hadn’t travelled five blocks), a sight appeared that made him jump out of his socks!

The car up ahead moved into the left lane, then suddenly swerved! This man was insane!

On horn and on brake, Jer pushed with his might, but the car up ahead continued moving right.

Unable to stop the upcoming ordeal, the cars met and bumped, with a crunch and a squeal.

Blood started boiling in the back of Jer’s head. His knuckles turned white, his face became red.

“My beautiful car! What has this idiot done?” Jer roared to himself. He was not having fun.

He jumped outside with a curse on his lips, when the man stepped out… with sixty inch hips.

The swear fell away, voice crumbled to dust. “I think that he’d maybe eat me if I cussed!”

The man approached Jer. “I’m sorry!” said he, “I didn’t see that island in front of me!”

“I’ll call the police, we’ll see what they say.” This is not how anyone wants to spend their day.

The cops came and went, insurance exchanged, but Jer wasn’t quite sure who it was the Cop blamed.

The process drags on, as these things sometimes will, but Jer hopes he’s not stuck with the high repair bill.

The estimate on his prize vehicle you see, is thirteen hundred, that’s a lot to me!

It may be up to three weeks before the case is settled, until then, Jer’s poor car will have twisted metal.

Your idiots are dumber than my idiots.

2009-12-14T13:15:00.002-07:00

I had a humbling experience today.

While in the Customer Support area, installing software on someone's machine, I listened to the poor CSR next to me:

"I'm sorry, sir. I'm doing the best that I can. No, I have done this before. What I need you to do is hit the control key, then... the control key. Down at the bottom of the keyboard on the left side, there is a button that has 'C' 'T' 'R' 'L' on it. Yes. Hold that button down, then hit the 'C' key. No, 'C' as in 'cat'. Like the animal. You know, 'meow'? How about 'C' as in 'Cow'? No, it's another animal. No, not a picture of a cow, the 'C' button, like when you spell out the word, cow."

I don't think I'm allowed to get upset with the people I have to support anymore if they can put up with that kind of idiocy.

Why Jer should never be a Dad...

2009-11-12T15:18:00.002-07:00

Is it possible that the women of the Wasatch Front can see a few years into the future?

I'm more of a lover...

2009-11-05T12:59:00.001-07:00

Just in case you were wondering...

26

Join the dark side...

2009-10-26T12:00:00.001-06:00

Obama's only hope... and mine..

2009-10-22T15:02:00.001-06:00

If this were true, I'd vote for Obama in 2012.

I'm offended...

2009-10-20T10:03:00.001-06:00

Many of you have seen my shirt that says: "I'm offended... I'm a BYU student" (If you haven't seen it, I have a shirt that says "I'm offended... I'm a BYU student, FYI)

It's really getting pathetic how we are offended by everything around us. (It offends me that we're so sensitive) Making matters worse are the people who are being denied the right to share their opinions because of it.

Apparrently, we're no longer allowed to fly American flags in our own country anymore. We can't show anyone who isn't white as working-class. And now there's this: http://www.buycostumes.com/Illegal-Alien-Adult-Costume/60504/ProductDetail.aspx

This is supposedly offensive to undocumented workers. (We have to call them undocumented workers because it's offensive to point out that they're breaking the law of the land by calling them 'Illegal Immigrants')

Ok, I admit that I can be an insensitive prick and a right-wing nut, but really? Are ~~Mexicans~~ ~~Hispanics~~ People born south of the border of the United States (verbiage changed to attempt to avoid offense) really going to decide that references about extra-terrestrials attacks on them? Can I protest Devil costumes because of the crack about Mormons having horns?

Sad, really, how political correctness means you're not allowed to have an opinion, preference, or sense of humor anymore.

I honor your offer

2009-10-06T14:58:00.001-06:00

Well, court date came. Since many friends I've talked to about it are unfamiliar with the process, here's what happened:

First off, this wasn't actually my court date. This was arraignment, so it this wasn't where the cop had to show up or I'm off the hook. This is just where I plead ‘guilty’ or ‘not guilty’.

There were about 30 defendants there, most on traffic violations, some in from the county jail on failure to appear in court, shoplifting, etc. I think one guy was on a controlled substance charge.

First, they had us sign a form informing us of our Miranda Rights and right to an attorney. Then we filed into the courtroom, and a 400 lb man walked in and announced he was the City Prosecutor, and if we planned to plead ‘not guilty’, try for a deal, or not be eaten, we should talk to him before the Judge arrived.

A few people in front of me had similar tickets to mine, and he basically told them their only option was to plead ‘guilty’ and pay the fine, or ‘not guilty’ and they'd set a court date. He told them this just by looking at their citations and not asking them anything. When it came to be my turn, he asked "What can I do for you?" (Maybe it was because I was well-groomed, wearing a suit, and not smelling of pot. Some people are just idiots!)

"I'm contesting that this took place in a construction zone," I said.

"Well, if you bring your ticket in to court, I can loo-- Oh, you have it here? Let's see.... hmm. Yeah, it does say 'approximately 11800 South'... OK. If you plead ‘guilty’, I'll drop the construction zone part of it, or you can plead ‘not guilty’ and take it to court where the officer will have to appear."

Now, I know the officer had irrefutable video evidence that I was going 76 MPH. I don't know if his video proved the improper lane change, but I figured with this offer, I had nothing to gain by going to court, so I accepted.

After a half an hour of listening to people explain why they were driving on suspended licenses, (seriously, I'm now convinced that I'm an excellent driver) It came to my turn and I told the Judge that yes, I understood my rights, No, I didn't have any questions, yes, I understood that the agreement was to the full fine without the construction zone enhancement, blah blah blah. I then plead ‘guilty’ to all charges, went upstairs and paid my $300 fine. At least it got cut in half.

Dealing with idiots.

2009-09-23T11:54:00.003-06:00

I'm sick of idiots... unfortunately, I am one.

I got an email today. Here's the entirety of it: "What happened to the winSCP Server?? I can't log on!!!" (Yeah. now you know why I get short with people on emails. I get stuff like this all the time.

I hate when someone at work tells me they can't get to "The" FTP server or "The" Web logon or "The" Links site. I manage about 70 of the first two, and I don't know what you're talking about on the third. Why can't they give more information instead of expecting me to read their minds?

So, I send an email back explaining that there are several servers, and to which is she referring?

"The winSCP server that I upload product information to!"

I ignore the fact that winSCP is a client, not a server, and try again to get more information. After about 3 more emails, I finally learn which server she needs access to. I reply:

"Sorry, we had to move that site. Nobody told me you needed access. You need to log in to [address] and use the same username and password."

She replies with "What's the hostname?"

"I just gave you the hostname. It's [address]."

"What is the username and password?"

...

Seriously, what?? Could she be that dumb? At this point, I tell the story to Joel via IM and we discuss how at least she'll survive the zombie apocalypse.

I send her the login credentials again and she replies that it keeps saying 'access denied'. I look it over, then try to log in myself.

>.<

I gave her the wrong address. I'm really, really glad I was polite in the emails while thinking she was a complete dolt, because I'm the idiot.

The Office

2009-09-22T11:42:00.001-06:00

Today I was chatting with my boss and our facilities manager, when my boss said, pointing to me, "He's our 'Dwight'".

I was taken aback and was slightly offended. He said "Think about it... Knowledgeable, surly, weapons...." (No I don't have weapons hidden around the office, nor do I bring any in)

I said if anything, I was closer to Andy. (For some reason, this is slightly less insulting to me, even though Andy is an idiot) A Cappella geek, bad with women, temper problems. I'm much more likely to put my fist through a wall than to mace some guy who's attacking someone else.

What do you think? Where do I fit? Do any of you have "The Office" characters at work?

Legal Advice

2009-09-17T13:28:00.001-06:00

I went to Draper City Court today to contest my speeding ticket. I got there during lunch, and the lady there took my citation, made a copy, then said, "OK, you have until October 30 to pay..." I told her "Actually, I'd like to plead 'not guilty'." "I was just about to suggest that... the fine is pretty steep because of the construction zone."

Now, far be it from me to judge such things, but is it OK for someone who works at the courthouse to suggest pleading not guilty? I figure that kind of thing might be frowned upon.

Anxious

2009-09-14T09:08:00.000-06:00

I'm having a strange issue here. I've decided to fight my speeding ticket, and the way I see it, there are three possible outcomes:
1) The cop doesn't show up and I'm off the hook.
2) The cop does show up, my arguments make sense, and I get a reduced fine.
3) The cop shows up, but nobody listens to me, and I pay the full fine.

I've already started adjusting my budget to deal with the worst-case scenario, but I'm feeling super-anxious about it. I don't know why. It's there in the back of my head all the time, and my over-active guilt reflex is going crazy. I've got my plan in place, so why can't I quit thinking about it?

Road Rage

2009-09-10T09:42:00.001-06:00

So, how many times has this happened to you? You're driving on the freeway, and there's someone in front of you you'd like to pass. You signal a lane change, and he happens to do it at the same time. You both dart back to your original position.

Now you're back where you started. You change lanes again, and this time do it quickly to avoid the confusion, and you pass.

Well, I got pulled over this morning for exactly that. I had to speed up to pass the guy, and as soon as I was past, I slowed back down to the limit.

All the cop said he saw was me swerving in and out of the lane I was in. Then, because the first "lane change" (us both moving) happened while we were passing the "end construction zone" sign, he decided the whole thing counted as being in a construction zone, and cited me for 76 in a 55. (76 is how fast I sped up to pass the guy... seeing as how traffic was flowing at 73 or so, I don't think I was out of line)

I was very polite and didn't talk back, I explained why the multiple lane changes (he didn't see the other guy signal), but I think the part where I screwed up was where he asked if I thought that was safe. I hesitated, then said, "Well, there was nobody in the other lane, I checked that nobody else was around.." then he asked for my license and registration. I can't help but feel that he would have given me a warning if I had said something like "No. It was stupid."

I'm thinking I'll fight it. I looked up Draper City ordinance, they don't offer traffic school, and it's going to be about a $600 ticket because of the "construction zone" that we weren't in.

sigh...

2009-08-07T10:32:00.001-06:00

The day after my last post, my mom sent one of those emails to everyone in her address book...

Gossip is as gossip does

2009-08-04T14:43:00.002-06:00

I, as we all have, often receive emails with some wild accusation attached:

"DO NOT VISIT SOMESUPERSECRETWEBSITE.COM, IT WILL DESTROY YOUR ENTIRE HARD DRIVE, MAKE YOUR SPOUSE LEAVE YOU AND SEND HATE MAIL TO YOUR GRANDPARENTS!"

This is part of the internet. We have to deal with the conspiracy theorists, the people out there who just like chaos, and the people too ignorant/paranoid about technology to know better.

I do, however, expect people to think before they act, and by act, I mean hit the "Forward" button on their email.

Why is it that people who would shun gossip think it's ok if it's on the internet? If I walked up to you and told you "Don't drive your car on I-15 today, cars have been exploding due to the new asphalt they put in", you'd probably laugh at me.

Ok, yes. There are attack sites out there. There are viruses, identity theives, and killer robots that can make your cyber life painful. But when I hear a rumor about the latest batch of Ford cars that have a faulty part that make the car dismantle itself when you drive over 50MPH, I tend to try to find out at all if it is real before I frantically call all my neighbors, friends, and family with "OMG, don't drive more than 50 or you'll all die!"

Google is your friend. Look some of this crap up before you hit "Forward". Try this site. They research urban myths and emails and such. Be part of the solution to this spam, not part of the problem.

(To those who received my angry replies to some of these, I apologize, but it's because I know you're smarter than that)

Socialism in action

2009-07-28T14:13:00.003-06:00

I guess I need a bit of explanation on my last post and why I feel the way I do. Many of you who read this have heard me talk about it, but I lived for two years in Australia, which is highly socialized. Government health care, redistribution of wealth, etc.

Let's star with work ethic. The majority of people I met in Oz were on "The Dole" (free government money). Most stores were open 8-5 Mon-Wed, 8-9 Thurs, and 8-3 Sat-Sun. Why late on Thursday? That's government check day. Seriously.

In America, we typically ask someone "What do you do?" In Australia, they ask "Do you work?" It isn't rude, so many don't work that it is a common question. Many Australians struggle with the idea of a 40-hour work week, and thought I was exaggerating about it. One girl was shocked when I told her "If you don't work, you don't eat". (which was a bit of an exaggeration, but not a lot)

I knew a single mother who was trying to make a better life for herself and two children. She worked two jobs and was as frugal as she could be. After a few months of this, she did the math and figured out that with 2 kids, she'd make more money on the Dole than she was working two jobs, so she quit them both. (she wasn't eligible if she was working)

So here we have a system that rewards laziness and punishes work ethic. To me, that's just painful to think about.

How about health care?

As most of you know, I worked with the deaf in Oz. There was one lady, Joyce, who was deaf and blind in her mid-70's (I believe). When Joyce got sick (with a common cold), she was sent to the hospital. We'd go visit her often in the 2 weeks she was there. (Yeah, 2 weeks for a cold) The conditions were terrible. The hospital seemed clean enough, but Joyce got more sick because she was put in a room with 5 other people (with different ailments) and they all made each other more sick. The medical staff was so busy that Joyce got a 15-minute checkup each day by a nurse and otherwise was just left alone, rather than being treated. In my opinion, she would have been better off staying at home if she had someone to help, but she was living in a government-run assisted living center, and they required she be sent to the hospital, since they didn't have the staff to help her stay in her room.

We volunteered at the Red Cross at that hospital (which was one of the main hospitals in the capital city of the state I was in). It was hot (no air conditioning or climate control other than ceiling fans), it was smelly, and I was always glad to get out of there, even though being there usually meant a few hours to just relax.

This is what socialism gets us. This is what happens when the government tries to "take care of us". Me? I'd rather be independent. We need to quit worrying about how to make sure everyone gets a fish and worry about teaching them to fish instead. If they choose not to fish, too bad for them. Get a job and make your own damn pie.

The Change Sucks

2009-07-28T11:10:00.003-06:00

I'm going to get ragged on by certain liberal members of my family for this, but...

So, it seems Obama is getting his "change". Are you still sure you want it, America?
This site has some funny shirts and bumper stickers. They focus a lot on the "Spread the wealth" comments the President has made, but I particularly like "Don't spread my wealth, spread my work ethic" and "It's MY pie! I don't have to share it with you. Get a job and make your own damn pie"

Fat-tastic

2009-07-10T12:29:00.003-06:00

I'm sick of seeing pictures of myself looking much pudgier than my mental self-image. I think it's time I finally take some major steps to fix that.

I figure by publicly posting these, it should help me hold to them better:

1) Fast food: no burger/fries type fast food for a month. Exceptions include casual dates, travel, and when I've been out working all day like when I help my parents with projects on the weekends.

2) Exercise: 90 minutes a week minimum. Mostly I plan to get walking on the treadmill. I'll count half of any time I spend working on my house.

3) I'm only holding myself firmly to this for a month, but if I get in the swing of it, plan to continue through the summer.

Help me accept the things I cannot change...

2009-07-09T23:21:00.002-06:00

The other day a friend told me I was not prepared for marriage because I refused to accept blame for something that wasn't my fault. (I think he was 30% joking)

I counter that it isn't an issue of being unprepared, rather it is me enjoying that freedom while I still can.

Thoughts?

Manly Things

2009-07-02T11:45:00.002-06:00

All through Jr High and High School, the majority of my friends were female. As a result, I've seen just about every chick flick out there, have helped make flower arrangements, learned to dance, etc. I did decide, however, that there would be some things I would never participate in, just to hold on to some semblance of masculinity.

These things include reading/watching the Twilight series, any kind of "product party", and my biggest holdout of all, Pride and Prejudice.

What is it with P&P? I have never met a girl who didn't love that crap. And it's long. I know girls who would plan a P&P party where they'd watch the 77.5-hour-long PBS version of the thing.

Well, Joel just brought this to my attention.

It may be time to lower the ban.

More Pictures

2009-06-24T16:59:00.006-06:00

Here's some of the work Dan's been doing at my house.

Also, a couple I forgot to put up last time: My dining nook and spiral staircase:

And, just for good measure, a picture of me after the pie-eating contest at work:

Dancingmoose vs Skinforhair

2009-06-23T16:36:00.000-06:00

I need to pick a facebook username. Do I go with Dancingmoose (a staple since early high school) or Skinforhair (a christening from a college roommate)?

Also, Daniel's been working on my drywall the last couple of days. I'll try to take some pics tonight and post. (What?? Jer might actually move into his house??)

I Like Pie.

2009-06-15T16:12:00.003-06:00

For those of you that don't know (and most don't), the phrase I sometimes use, "I like pie." comes from an old show called Ned and Stacy. In one of the final episodes of this two-season wonder, Ned rushes to Stacy's family Thanksgiving dinner to tell her he loves her after they've had a fight which finished with him yelling "GET OUT!!"

Ned gets to the house, and when the family asks if he has something he'd like to say, he looks at Stacy and says "GET OUT!!!.... I mean... i like pie."

Stupid, I know, but I always kinda liked it.

Don't watch this on a full stomach:

New look

2009-06-11T11:22:00.000-06:00

I found this template online and am in the process of tweaking it to my liking... I still haven't found in the code where to push the comments back to the bottom of each post yet. I'm also thinking about making that "No Swimming" sign change daily or something. Whatcha think?

The House

2009-05-20T19:51:00.032-06:00

Ok, it's more than a month overdue, but here's the post about my house:

I bought a house. Actually, I kinda bought two houses. There's the original house, then the add-on "mother-in-law" apartment that's close to the same size. I've got it zoned as a legal duplex now. My friend Joel is renting half.

Seen from the front corner. My half to the left, Joel's to the right

There's an awesome back yard that's totally enclosed because of the way the house is "L" shaped around the corner.

Yard includes a gazebo, fountain, and playhouse.

Now I have somewhere to sleep when my future wife is mad

Here's a panoramic of the backyard that I photoshopped together.

Unfortunately, the wiring is pretty bad, so I've been redoing it.
Holy Fire Hazard, Batman!

I'm also kinda crazy about getting cable and network into all the
rooms, so I've been doing that, too. While I was at it,
I found the poor man's way of doing whole-house audio, so I've been running audio wires as well, and have been installing ceiling speakers.

Several rooms were set up for swag lighting, so the power sockets were tied to a light switch (like a motel). I hate that, so I fixed it, and I've been installing lights in several places that needed it. (Including one bedroom that had no lights whatsoever!)

Lotsa light. Also note ceiling speaker!

I've ripped a whole bunch of holes in the walls to do my wiring, but luckily my friend Daniel used to be a drywall guy, and he's going to help me patch it up, then my sister Judi is going to help me paint. Hopefully, I'll be moved in in the next two weeks. (I've stayed out knowing I'll have to patch and paint)

Examples of my wall destruction. Take that, walls!

I wish I'd had the foresight to do "Before" pics.. I'm going to see if I can't find some of the original MLS pics.

So there you have it! Joel's family is living in the house section currently (we call my half the "Apartment"), so I didn't want to jump in there and take a bunch of pictures. I'll try to get some later.

(Can I note that I hate working with pictures in Blogger? I had to republish 17 times to get this to lay out correctly. Sheesh.)

So sleepy..

2009-04-09T12:56:00.002-06:00

I'm exhausted. Every day this week, I've awakened in the morning to feel like I hadn't slept at all, and it's starting to catch up with me. It doesn't help that today, my email has been going nuts. I have three main email addresses (two jobs and one personal), and I literally haven't gone more than 5 minutes today without at least one of them going off, so my phone is constantly buzzing on me, and I'm OCD enough that I HAVE to look. (please don't start sending me emails just to exacerbate this. You know who you are.)

Anyway, I planned to go bed shopping this afternoon, but you know how you're not supposed to grocery shop when hungry? Does the same principle apply to buying a bed and being sleepy?

April fools

2009-04-02T09:56:00.006-06:00

Yeah, yeah, I'll post about my house eventually. But first...

There's a guy in my office who is a bit of a primadona. He's been furious for the past year that he doesn't have an office, because he feels his pay grade deserves it. We finally kicked our IT manager out of his office and gave it to this guy, but then we moved buildings the next week. (d'oh!)

So now, we're in this new space, and he's been promised that he can have the reception area, and a wall will be built in the one space that keeps it from being a separate room. It's taking a while for that to get done, and he's not too happy about it, so he has set up shop in our only conference room until his office is "complete".

Well, we decided it's time to get him out. We got him a wall/door.

The sign says "Devron's office. Please Knock."

One of those days

2009-03-12T10:17:00.002-06:00

Yesterday, I didn't feel well. I had some kind of 24 hour stomach bug, I think. But have you ever noticed that the day you take off from work is the day everything seems to go wrong at work? When you get back, it's insanity to try and catch up with everything that's gone wrong.

In my case, four people were unable to get their computers to even turn on, someone lost an important email to the spam filter that they needed urgently, several user accounts were mysteriously disabled, small rodents made nests in the servers, and the only voices you could hear on the phones were the kind telling you to wear tin foil hats and warn the rest of the world about the Impending Doom!

Ok, so it wasn't quite that bad. There weren't really rodents.

...Just all of Womankind...

2009-02-09T14:03:00.004-07:00

A friend today compared me to her boyfriend who is afraid of commitments. I told her that I'm not afraid of commitment, and she responded with "No, you just avoid them like the plague."

I said I only avoid girls I don't like, and she said "Which is all of womankind!"

...dang. I have to give her that one.

New Blog Title

2009-02-03T22:52:00.003-07:00

The new blog title is a quote from a dream I had the other night. A friend and I were being attacked by a group of evil women, and I told him to go on ahead, and I'd take care of them. He asked what made me think I'd survive, and I told him: "I'm an expert on sirens."

I woke up realizing that it was the truest statement I've ever made.. even in my sleep.

Health Care

2009-01-21T16:44:00.002-07:00

We have a new president, and like it or not, we need to stand together as a nation. I do believe that. But I have to rant for a minute about a political subject that has been driving me nuts. (Short drive, as my dad would say)

I truly am sick of Americans clamoring for national health care without reflecting on what that really means.

Have you ever lived in a country with free health care? I have, and I would NEVER want to be hospitalized in that environment... One might as well go to a witch doctor.

Do they think if it's all free, the standard of care is going to stay as high as it is? Do they even understand how it's going to be paid for? Our public education is paid for by taxes, and is "free", and I constantly hear about how the standards aren't good enough, our children are failing, classes are overcrowded, etc. How can you think that public health care would be any different?

Yes, we have people dying because they can't get care, but we have a HIGHER OVERALL SURVIVAL rate because of the QUALITY of our care.

Here's what I'd like to see: The addition of net new health care centers that are tax-funded and available to those without insurance. I'd like to see our current system survive, so that I can continue to get care that doesn't involve not enough medicine, not enough people, rooms with 16 beds in them, and hand-me-down x-rays that will give me cancer because the clinic can't afford lead shielding.

Don't drag my health down with you.

Ripped off by BYU

2009-01-02T22:24:00.005-07:00

I am LIVID. As I hunt for a home of my own, my alma mater has decided that they want to ruin my chances for no apparent reason other than laziness.

In early December, I got a letter from a collections agency. BYU had decided that I owed $80 for something. Instead of attempting to contact me, they sent it straight to a collection agency! Sure this must be a mistake, I called them, but the company gave me a bureaucratic run-around, and I never got to talk to anyone. Then I started calling BYU.

After about 5 phone calls, I learned that the sport jacket I had checked out from Performing Arts Management for a Vocal Point tour was never returned. I called my VP director, and we sorted out that he had it, he contacted them, and everything was supposed to be fine.

A few days later, I noticed that the account had not been cleared, so I started making phone calls again. I contacted PAM (performing arts) and the lady there said she had called it in to financial services, but she'd check again. She called me back later saying she had gotten hold of them and it was all cleared. That night, I got an automated email from BYU saying the debt had been cleared.

The next day, I got another automated email, and the debt was back! I started making calls. 4 phone calls later, the student working at Financial Services told me that the person in charge of this sort of thing wasn't there, but there was some kind of glitch that had put the debt back on. They'd sent an email to the person in charge, and it should be fixed.

A few days later, it still wasn't. I called again. It was now December 19th. I told the girl there that I was concerned, because the letter I got said if they didn't hear from me by the 27th, they'd assume I acknowledged the debt. She said she had put a flag on it and it would NOT go into collection.

Today I got a letter postmarked December 29th. (10 days later) The account is in collection. Those idiots at BYU who kept promising me that this wouldn't happen let it happen. From the literature I've read, my credit score will now be impacted by this. 80 freaking dollars. I would have paid $80 I didn't owe if I knew it would come to this.

Now I have to take several hours off of work on Monday to drive down there (I'm done trying to deal with these people on the phone) and get this sorted out.

I'm so glad that the institution that sends me six letters a year asking for donations doesn't care enough to:
- Make good faith efforts to settle problems before jumping to outside agencies
- Hold employees accountable to keep the promises they make
- Show that my concerns are valid by explaining what is happening
- Return my phone calls

Thanks a lot, BYU. I'm glad you're not above making me pay for your mistakes.

When Scary Papa babysits...

2008-12-22T11:32:00.002-07:00

Playing Favorites

2008-12-10T15:27:00.002-07:00

Thanks, Jon.

http://lifeofjonali.blogspot.com/2008/12/moms-favorite.html

'nuff said.

More politics..

2008-11-12T10:16:00.002-07:00

As the far right out there continue to complain that we're all going to end up in a socialist country (and I've made the comment myself), I'm seeing lots of propaganda out there. I stumbled across this article written a year ago on SocialistAlternative.org that had this line:

What these people don't seem to understand is that the majority of those "astounding technological advancements" came as a result of war! Don't believe me? Let's name a few:

microprocessors (Used by pretty much anything with a "brain", including computers, watches, gps, cat scans, cell phones,

"A genuine socialist democracy would put the ingenuity and astounding technological advancements of recent history to use for the improvement of human society, not its destruction."

Almost Famous...

2008-11-10T16:49:00.003-07:00

moosebutter is getting quite a bit of attention lately thanks to a new YouTube video. I love the attention that it's getting, but my jealous nature also wishes the group had a little more recognition for the song, as opposed to all the people who think the poster sang it. (I'm not on the recording, so I really shouldn't care, right?)

A sight for sore eyes

2008-11-10T15:16:00.003-07:00

I posted in my Halloween post about getting contacts. Now, I don't intend to replace my glasses. I generally don't mind wearing them, and I think I look good in glasses. There are times, however, that contacts would be really convenient. So I went and got some.

Even though I don't intend to wear them all the time, I figure that I do need to take the time to get used to them, so I've been wearing them as much as I can stand lately.

Unfortunately, that isn't much.

My eyes itch non stop! I know I'm not supposed to rub them, but I can't seem to help it. Putting drops in my eyes only makes it better for a few minutes.

At this point, my eyes are red and raw. My left eyelid is painful to the touch. I've only had these things for a week, and I'm still trying to build up my tolerance to them, but I'm not sure how much more I can take.

Anyone else go through contact trouble? Any advice?

Politics

2008-11-05T09:24:00.003-07:00

On the day after the Election, I offer you this IM conversation between me and Joel, regarding his job interview yesterday:

jarjackson: Good morning, comrade. I trust that your day is productive and fruitful. Remember that to work is to feed the masses. Glory to the republic.
jarjackson: How was your assessment?
Joel Hiller: Glory to the Republic! The Employment Minister will of course determine which occupation suits me, and then allow me the same living allowance as everyone else.
jarjackson: Excellent, the Glorious Republic no doubt will chose perfectly. Is there any indication of the Minister's decision?
Joel Hiller: This conveniently eliminates the needless, unfair practice of competition. The Minister indicated it will only be 2 or 3 years before a decision is reached, so I feel especially fortunate.
Joel Hiller: There are multiple options for the Minister to choose from.
jarjackson: Of course, the Republic can no longer sustain unfair practices, such as religion, which only allows some to attain rewards. The Minister's wisdom is unmatched, and until such a time as his decision is reached, you are welcome to starve with your family under my porch, as long as the Secret Service doesn't find you.
Joel Hiller: A most kind and generous offer, comrade
Joel Hiller: I am most honored to starve with my family, so long as there are other comrades who do not wish to work. After all, it is only fair that I shoulder my share of the burden.
jarjackson: ... i'm turning this into a blog post.
Joel Hiller: Awesome

Happy Halloween!

2008-10-31T14:21:00.012-06:00

Ok, as a disclaimer, I can't see out of my right eye at the moment, which makes reading text on the screen difficult. No making fun of my spelling (this means you, Joel!).

A couple of weeks ago, Mom, Dad, and I took my nieces and nephews to the Scarecrow Festival. While we were there, we got our faces painted, and the girl there did an awesome job of painting me up like the Joker. I decided to use that as my Halloween costume, instead of my traditional pirate.

So Joel and I hit up a bunch of thrift stores, found women's jackets to turn into green vests, and I bought a purple over-jacket. Daniel came over and helped me get a wig ready. Using some YouTube videos and pictures of Heath Ledger, I practiced doing the makeup a few times, and put everything together. I used some stuff called Rigid Collodial to do the scars, it's awesome.

Now, I also had to go pick up my first pair of contacts this morning. I put on everything but the makeup and the wig (I had the scars) and went. While the woman there was showing me how to put the lenses in, she had to go help with a fussy kid. Apparently she didn't wash all the dilating solution off, and it got in my right contact....

So I get home, and one eye is HUGE compared to the other. (This is why I can barely see out of it). It's nice and creepy, though, and most people notice something is wrong with my eyes, but can't tell what unless I point it out.

I put on the rest of the makeup and headed to work, where we have our annual costume contest. Unfortunately, I lost the $200 prize by ONE vote. To these guys.

(They're bee henchmen from the cartoon "The Venture Bros")

Oh well, I still have the best costume I've ever done. Happy Halloween, everyone!

Tagged again

2008-10-08T21:53:00.003-06:00

I'm sure Christa tagged me because I never update this thing, but here we go...

8 Favorite TV shows:
1. The Office
2. Heroes
3. Mythbusters
4. Futurama
5. Scrubs
6. House
7. Monk
8. Law & Order (any variant)

8 Favorite Restaurants:
1. Wendy's (fast food counts, dangit)
2. Panda Express
3. The Melting Pot (mostly for dessert)
4. Cafe Rio (go go Pork Barbacoa!)
5. Gandolfo's
6. Spaghetti Mama's
7. Denny's (at 3 am)
8. Subway

8 things that happened yesterday:

1. I slept through my alarm
2. I bought an eyepatch to add to my perpetual pirate costume
3. I convinced the CEO to buy me a new iPod cable, since he stole mine
4. I spent 2 hours at lunch watching "The Office" with my team
5. I watched 3 new episodes of Red vs Blue
6. I couldn't see Heroes on Monday, but I recorded it, so I watched that.
7. At night, I record songs myself on my computer. It's a little lame, but I have fun arranging stuff. I finished the last verse backup vocals to "Tongue Tied".
8. I couldn't sleep, so I watched Donnie Darko on demand until about 2am

(wow, there's a lot of "I watched" in there... how exciting am I?)

8 things to look forward to:

1. Cali trip in November. Booked tickets today!
2. Getting my own home
3. Cancun in January, if certain people don't wimp out on me
4. Getting off the IT team completely
5. Being debt-free
6. Finding a girl who can stand me enough to want to marry me
7. Taking a couple days off next week "just because"
8. Kids. I freaking love my nieces and nephews and can't wait to really grow up and have my own.

8 things I love about Fall:

1. It's not hot, it's not cold. I love the temperature
2. Driving to work in the morning when it isn't dark, but it isn't bright
3. Football
4. Not minding having to wear shoes instead of flip-flops
5. Using my heated seats in my car
6. New seasons of my favorite shows
7. I usually do some kind of "fall cleaning", usually because I'm too busy in spring
8. Dressing up like a pirate every stinking Halloween :)

8 things on my wishlist:

1. '69 Stingray Corvette
2. A new desk chair. This one is falling apart.
3. A recording studio
4. The girl mentioned above
5. A monkey butler
6. To find my fondue pot
7. More hard drive space for my movies. (I've almost filled up my terabyte!)
8. Jenna Fischer (take THAT, Christa!)

I'm not gonna do the second tag just now. (hey, why waste another post?)
OK.... Jim/Marie, Amy, Loni, Luke.. I dub thee "tagged"

Yarr!

2008-09-19T14:29:00.005-06:00

September 19th is Talk Like a Pirate Day. Here's my pirate name:

Bloody William Rackham

Every pirate lives for something different. For some, it's the open sea. For others (the masochists), it's the food. For you, it's definitely the fighting. You have the good fortune of having a good name, since Rackham (pronounced RACKem, not rack-ham) is one of the coolest sounding surnames for a pirate. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from piratequiz.com.
part of the fidius.org network

You wouldn't like me when I'm angry

2008-09-11T14:17:00.006-06:00

I've decided to do something here that I call "Don't Anger the People who Control Your Technology". I've had many instances where this line comes to me, and one happened today.

First, I must set the stage: I put in over 12 hours on Saturday and Sunday to get about 200 computers ready for a new deployment to our sales floor. Yesterday, my team was here until midnight getting them on desktops and plugging them in.
(So I'm already overworked and cranky)

Today, the sales people were supposed to be off the sales floor from noon to three. We decided to use this time to get each machine ready for use. We log in, make sure everything works, and leave it ready for them to log in.

We're chugging along, and I sit at one desk, and the girl who sits there runs up. "Hey, dude. I have a call at exactly 2 o'clock, so you'd better be out of that seat." (Ok, I'm cranky, but she was flat out rude. Sorry I'm using my lunch hour to set up your new computer, jerk)

I look at my watch. It's ten to two. I decide not to push it and walk away. I do notice on her phone that her name is S. Hunt. (the phones talk to a server that gets the person's name)

At this point, I have half a mind to do a software reboot on her phone at around 2:08, so she loses the sale, but I decide to be nice.

I go back to my desk and tell some of my friends what happened, and one suggests I change her name to a dirty word. (changing the name does a reboot on the phone, too)

I wonder how much that sale was worth to her.....

Members Only

2008-09-11T11:01:00.003-06:00

Ok, I have to address a rising trend I'm seeing in the blogging world: Invite-only blogs. Blogger has an option where only people you invite are allowed to read your blog. Many of my friends have started doing this, meaning that I have to sign in to get updates.

Why are we doing this. Are you so afraid of letting the world see what you write? Are you so vain that you think your high school stalker might find it and use it to track you down? Are you actually in the Witness Relocation Program?

And don't comment on this giving me crap about spam comments, either. You can turn on comment management so that only the comments you choose actually get posted.

Me, I know that probably 3 or 4 people actually read this thing, and if you're not one of those (semi) regulars, I still don't care.

Communication

2008-09-10T08:51:00.002-06:00

What he said about the date:
She gave me a look that either said “I’m confused and offended” or “I’m just seconds away from ripping my pants off.
” [It should be noted that this is the look that, in my mind, every woman everywhere constantly wears on her face at all times.]

What she said about the date:
"He kept staring at my forehead and it was really creepy"

I owe the male comment to cracked.com, but it is still true, nonetheless.

Hebgen!

2008-08-27T14:01:00.018-06:00

I sail. I'm a sailor. Do you sail? I sail.
(I told Jim that being able to say that was the only reason I got on that canoe with a pole attached with him)

Jim and Marie invited me up to the cabin at Hebgen Lake last week. It is awesome up there.

There were flocks of moosen.

I spent most of my time on the porch, avoiding mosquitoes and enjoying the perfect 70 degree weather while reading. I finished a whole book in 3 days.

The kids were a lot of fun. Luckily, I had earplugs with me for those early morning romps.

Hahaha! Bugs cannot penetrate my fortress!

We also celebrated Jim's birthday. Marie is an awesome cook, and all the meals were great!

Laine does her Jer impression

They made me eat the candles because I ate all the enchiladas.

The staple incident

2008-08-27T13:22:00.007-06:00

Yes, it really happened.
Yes, I've seen Get Smart.
No, it didn't hurt.
No, I won't explain why.
If you ask what was going through my head at the time, I might kill you.

Are you a twit, too?

2008-07-31T13:40:00.004-06:00

With the recent technological social additions in my life, someone asked me if I have a Twitter page. Now, for those of you who don't know what Twitter is, think of a blog with posts one sentence long, that you post to several times a day to let people know what you're thinking.

An example of my "tweets" (I think they should be called "twits") today would be something like this:

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lunch time, time to goof around on the internet and eat Wendy's again. 1:43 PM July 31, 2008
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Who the hell put the dead snake on the lobby floor? 11:50 AM July 31, 2008
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Internet broke again... boss is ticked.. 11:17 AM July 31, 2008 sent from txt
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Counted three people on the second floor wearing tracking anklets. 10:27 AM July 31, 2008
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
GET OUT OF THE FAST LANE, IDIOT! 8:12 AM July 31, 2008 sent from txt
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(By the way, every one of those is true.. times are approximate)

So, my question is, why? I have enough trouble finding interesting stuff to BLOG about, let alone update every 20 minutes. Who reads this crap? Also, whoever put the snake in the lobby PUT IT BACK after we got rid of it...

Happy Canada Day!

2008-07-01T13:05:00.001-06:00

That's right. It's Canada Day. I order you all to eat Kraft Dinner, Play hockey, and smoke legal pot all day. GO!

Welcome to the 21st Century....

2008-06-19T15:52:00.003-06:00

So, we all know I'm a techno-junkie, but there are a few things I've held out against. I still do avoid many of them, because they're evil, (cough - myspace - cough) but there are two that I've recently given in to:

Text messaging
I've never been against text messaging per se, but I never understood those that would text all day. I'm starting to get it. I've sent more texts in the last two weeks than I have in the last two years. There's something fun about having a conversation with friends over the course of a day while at work. I also find that I'm much more witty in these texts than I am in person.

Facebook
I know, I know. I told you all to stay away from it. I told you I'd never do it. When one of my old roommates saw me on there, he said: "Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa. This is blowing my mind! Jeremiah Jackson on a social networking site rife with possible viruses! .. I think I felt my brain just break."
Yeah, well. I decided that Facebook, while having the potential of being as evil as MySpace, isn't actually evil, and potential is not enough to judge something. After all, I have the potential to go to Hell, yet I still hope people treat me like a good person. And I was sick of everyone being on there and not me.

So yes, Jer has joined the masses using this techno-stuff. Hope I don't have to call support to figure out how to use it... maybe I'll ask Jon

Judi's Tag

2008-06-19T15:36:00.001-06:00

A little, late, but this is for my big sis:

3 joys
1. Sleeping in
2. Unexpected calls from friends
3. Trying something new, especially food I haven’t had before

3 fears
1. Remaining single past 30
2. Clowns
3. Chuck Norris Quotes

3 goals
1. I want to retire a millionaire
2. Raise a family
3. Learn to skydive

3 current obsessions/collections
1. Hats. It’s died down, but I have an extensive hat collection.
2. Movies. Gotta go with Judi on this one. Love movies.
3. Music. I’m working hard to actually organize my huge music collection.

3 random surprising facts about me
1. I can’t distinguish most shades of yellow from white
2. I like to photoshop pictures of my workmates to look like superheroes
3. I can whistle four ways: through my teeth, through my tongue, through my lips, and through my nose.

I think I've worn out my welcome on tags, so I'm not tagging anyone with this.

Women.

2008-06-15T15:10:00.006-06:00

I watched Much Ado About Nothing last night with some friends. This made me think of the last post:

Benedick:
One woman is fair, yet I am well; another is wise, yet I am well; another virtuous, yet I am well;
but till all graces be in one woman, one woman shall not come in my grace. Rich she shall be,
that's certain; wise, or I'll none; virtuous, or I'll never cheapen her; fair, or I'll never look
on her; mild, or come not near me; noble, or not I for an angel; of good discourse, an excellent
musician, and her hair shall be of what colour it please God. Ha!

The girl for me...

2008-06-13T13:37:00.003-06:00

So, after my last post, people asked what my criteria for setting me up would be. OK, I’ll bite.

First off, I’d like to point out that I don’t consider myself picky. I don’t really have any physical characteristics that are way important. Tall or Short, blonde or dark, blah blah blah. Minor exceptions would include that girls who are too skinny scare me, and she’s gotta have an attractive face. Now that can be very subjective, so we won’t go too much into that.

I like smart girls. Don’t set me up with airheads. I’m not intimidated if she’s smarter than me, but those sometimes get bored with me. Try to match us intellectually (however intellectual you think I am). I know people don’t mean it this way, but when I get set up with an airhead, I wonder what the person who set us up thinks of me.

Stronger personalities are nice. I’m friends with a lot of shy girls, but I fall for the tough ones. Not necessarily tom boys or uber-aggressive girls, but not the ones who are big wimps. Any girl who can playfully spar with me verbally usually passes the intelligence and toughness test. Note that I said playfully.

Middle-maintenance is the key. Another subjective trait, I know. I like a girl who showers, combs her hair, and attempts to look nice. But it can go too far. The girl who won’t be seen in public without makeup, always wears high heels, and freaks out if her hair gets out of place? Pass.

Activities can vary. I’ll change my routine for a girl I like. You’ve all seen me do it. I’m looking for someone who will encourage me to be better in all things, so it’s ok if she likes to do some outdoor/physical stuff. Obviously some of my favorite things are movies, games (not necessarily video games), and casual hanging out, but I am willing to broaden for the right girl. If you know someone who actually likes video games, call me. Now.

Let me know if there are any other things you’d like to know and I’ll edit this.

One other thing, just because she passes this list, it still may not be great. I know I've talked to many of you about one person in particular who seems perfect, but I just don't feel it. Not to be pessimistic, just pointing it out.

Blind Dates

2008-06-10T15:43:00.004-06:00

"Just because I'm single and your friend is too, it doesn't mean we're meant for each other!"

Joel suggested once that I put this on a shirt. I'm strongly considering it.

Being out of college and single has put a serious cramp on my social life. Most of my friends in SL are pretty busy with kids, jobs, and death-defying stunts, while all my single female friends are in Provo. I've been going to the singles ward, but it can be hard to get involved sometimes when everyone seems to already have their group of friends there, and I have no "in" except to just force my way. Normally this wouldn't be too much of an issue for me, but I just don't seem to have the energy for it the past few months.

So with no apparent dating happening on my own (hey, I went on a date in January! I'm done for the year!), people (who only have the best intentions, I'm sure) have started taking matters into their own hands.

Yes. Blind dates. *shudder* I think there should be a law that you must have a license issued by your friend/family member/workmate before you're allowed to try to set them up.

The worst are the people who set the criteria for "perfect" for me as:
1) Female
2) Single
3) Breathing
4) Human (ish)

Is it any wonder I hate blind dates? I get set up with Cheerleaders, walking makeup factories, and brain-dead shoe collectors. Girls I have nothing in common with, can't hold a conversation with, and can't have any fun with.

I would SO much rather go hang out with a group of friends who happen to have another friend there they think I should meet. A lot less pressure, and lets me decide if I want it to turn into a date.

There's no such thing as May

2008-06-10T15:41:00.003-06:00

I think i lost a month somewhere... Between Papa's sickness/death/funeral, trying to stay sane at Mom&Dad's house, and working my tail off, it's hard to remember what day it is, let alone write about it. :)

Jim's Tag...

2008-04-21T15:42:00.002-06:00

I finally got around to answering Jim's tag from ten years ago, which is the first 10 songs that come up on shuffle on my iPod. Here they are:

1. No Rain - Blind Melon
2. Chapter 24 of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (yeah, got a lot of audiobooks)
3. They Call the Wind Maria - Paint Your Wagon Soundtrack (Clint Eastwood singing!)
4. In the End (live) - Linkin Park
5. 100 Years from Now - Huey Lewis & the News (shut up. Huey rules.)
6. Winter Weather - Squirrell Nut Zippers (from back in my swing days)
7. The King of Bedside Manor - Barenaked Ladies (It took seven to get to BNL!)
8. Spin - David Wilcox (thanks Jim!)
9. For You (iTunes Original Version) - Barenaked Ladies
10. Friend of the Devil - Lyle Lovett (Jim again)

I'm not gonna tag anyone on this, I've already been mean to the only "friends" I have :)

Unoriginal material continues!

2008-04-15T14:08:00.005-06:00

Ok, I found this one on RoosterTeeth's website. This is a Google Image Search Game. I've entered a specific phrase into Google, and this image came up on the first page:Your job is to find out what that phrase was. Use the comments for this post, and you can ask Yes or No questions. Please no random guesses. This might not work, seeing as how few people actually read this thing, and how many quit reading because I never post, but we'll see.

By the way, I used Moderate safe search (default) and the phrase is four words, and part of a phrase I say often.

High School Quiz: tag

2008-04-13T19:37:00.004-06:00

Ok, found this on Jason's blog. I'm gonna answer the questions, then tag a few people that I want to fill it out on their blogs. Yay, internet fun!

1. Did you date someone from your school? Yeah, Loni, Kelli, Brynn, Luke... uh.. I mean..

2. Did you win anything in Senior's Who's Who? "Most likely to take over the world" It helps to have friends on the yearbook staff

3. What kind of car did you drive? 1981 Chevy Celebrity named "Spike"

4. It's Friday night...where r u? Amy's basement for a video. Or driving around town asking each other "what are we gonna do tonight?"

5. Were you a party animal? I was a party pooper.

6. Were you considered a flirt? Yes. I was much more attractive then.

7. Were you in band, orchestra, or choir? Choir, duh!

8. Were you a nerd? And freaking proud of it.

9. Did you get suspended/expelled? No, the faculty liked me too much.. I probably should have been, though.

10. Can you sing the fight song? Not high school. Jr high, though.

11. Who were your favorite teachers? Any that let me call them by their first name or a nickname. "El Barto"!

12. Where did you sit during lunch? Front/Side Lawn

13.What was your school's full name? Olympus High School

14. School mascot? Titans

15. Did you go to Homecoming and who with? Sophomore: Debbie Merrill. Jr: Mercedes Wilding. Sr: Kelli Towers

16. If you could go back and do it again, would you? I was the KING!

17.What do you remember most about graduation? Loni crying and holding my hand while we sang with Ensemble, Walking with Marti Gray to get diplomas.

18. Where did you go senior skip day? ... every day was senior skip day... 3rd Period, especially.

19 Were you in any clubs? Co-founded the math club. We ate Pie.

20. Have you gained some weight since then? Only 40 lbs or so (yeah, I'm serious)

21. Who was your Senior prom date? Amy Williams. Took my best friend instead of my girlfriend. Best decision ever.

22. Are you planning on going to your 10 year reunion? Yup.

23. Who was your home room teacher? What's "home room" anyway?

24. Do you still talk to people from school? Pretty much all my friends are from high school...

Ok, so people to do this: Ali (not Jon), Jim, Joel, and Amy Williams. Ready, GO!

THE CAR!

2008-02-04T13:10:00.000-07:00

Ok, we all know I love my Mustang, but when I was in Vegas a couple weeks ago, I got to drive this:

That, my friends, is a 2008 Corvette convertible with only 200 miles on it. (about 500 when I was done) Fire-engine red, with paddle shifters for the gears.

This was also fun. In the dashboard, there's a projector mounted to display a HUD (Heads-up display) for your speedometer on the windshield so you don't have to take your eyes off the road:
Man, that thing was fun. And fast!

I got me this job...

2008-02-04T12:51:00.000-07:00

It has occurred to me that many of you don't know what I do for a living. So here's a bit about my job.

I work for a company called My eBiz. We're a part of a bigger company called National Marketing Resources. My eBiz basically provides online marketing tools for people trying to start a business. I take care of all the web-based servers, which include our websites, email, DNS, and customer network issues.

This is Jim:

Jim is on the IT team and shares an office with me. He smells like fish and nobody likes him. (At least that's what I tell him on a regular basis)

My little workstation:

Dual monitors, docked laptop. Lovin' it!

Where the REAL work gets done...

Ok, this is really what I do all day..

The door to our office:
Yes, these signs are up all the time.

And a pic that Jim took when I... wasn't paying attention...

We're moving to a new building in a month or so, so I'll get some pics of that when it happens.

Dating Life

2008-02-04T12:48:00.001-07:00

"Jer, if there's nothing exciting to blog about, just make up some crap. We won't know the difference, and it will keep us entertained. Plus you'll be able to feel like you have some sort of life. everybody wins!"

Sounds like my dating life. BTW, there's not much worse than going out of town, meeting a girl you find attractive, flirting a bit, then finding out she's 17. So, once I break out of the town jail and avoid the shotgun wedding, I'll post again.

Let's see, where was I?

2008-01-11T10:06:00.002-07:00

So it was November that I posted that I would post more... and now it's January. Yay!

Well, what do you expect? My life is SO BORING that I don't even have anything to post about! But, after reading all my siblings' blogs, I decided that I am a major slacker and better put something on here.

Christmas was fun. I got a lot of new underwear and a nice jacket. It was fun to see the kids going nuts over presents (or wrapping paper, in Elizabeth's case) and just hang out together. I even went sledding with Laine and Wyatt.

Before Christmas, I was going through a rigorous interview process. One of my college friends is working for Cisco (Networking company, not food) in a program where you basically get paid to go to school for a year to get certifications, then the pay goes up and you work for another two years selling stuff. It was an awesome opportunity, but I was concerned about having to move to North Carolina and then who-knows-where for three years.

First I just sent in a resume, then there was a phone interview, then they flew me out to San Jose for the final part. In California, they had us give a 10 minute presentation, a 10 minute role-play where I tried to sell them something, and another interview. It was an all-day thing, and it wore me out. It was fun, though.

One of the things they had for us to do in between events was to visit the "Now Bus". It is a bus full of technology that they drive around the country to give presentations.

It looked pretty cool, the guys that drive it basically live in hotels and get 50 bucks per day for food. Sounds fun, but lonely.

The next couple of weeks, I'm doing some moosebutter shows. Should be fun.

Lazy

2007-11-20T10:10:00.000-07:00

So like everything else in life that requires consistent updating, (journals, laundry, tax information) I have failed in keeping up with the blog as well. I just get involved in other things and tell myself that I'll get to it later. I have a journal with one entry. Seriously.

Anyway, here's the month in review: I played a lot of video games, ate a lot of burgers, and got a total of about 16 hours of sleep.

I've been working on a ton of new hardware for work. We got 10 new servers and put them in a data center. I've been in charge of getting that all set up.

I also started an application process to work for Cisco next year in North Carolina. I'm going to San Jose next week for the final interview, so we'll see how that goes.

See? Why post a hundred times when I can smack it all out in one post?

Just kidding, I'll try to repent.

Vanity

2007-10-24T09:31:00.000-06:00

Well, so far, the Binary License Plate is in the lead, but there are 2 more days to vote, so If you pay any attention to this thing, give me a hand, will ya?

I think I might also post another poll... about Racing stripes.

Isn't it sad that I don't have anything to post about besides my car?

Somebody call the Waaambulance

2007-10-19T12:22:00.001-06:00

I have been described as "Never happy unless he has something to complain about".

Well, this post definitely fits into that category.

So at my work, we get free lunch on Friday. The receptionist goes to a local place (she varies where she goes - it is different every week) and brings food back for everyone. Also, every six weeks or so, my team goes to a movie on the company's bill. We get all the free popcorn, candy, soda, etc that we want.

Usually I over-eat on Friday lunches, so I don't get much at the movies. There are only one or two things they get for lunch that I don't love. Today was such a lunch. We got Wingers, which is good, but I don't eat a lot, because it isn't my favorite.

Unfortunately, it is also movie day, but there isn't anything that anyone on my team wants to go see, so we're going to go play pool or something instead.

So the one day I could get all the movie treats I wanted because I didn't overeat, we decide not to go to the movies. Bah!

Maybe I'll quit.

Just because they're out to get me...

2007-10-19T12:13:00.000-06:00

I had a mission companion who was a conspiracy theorist. "Cars could get 100 mpg, but the government puts microchips in them to keep the oil companies happy."

Now, I usually don't buy into conspiracy theories, but I have one of my own. Certain corporations are spying on my thoughts.

As a kid, I was deeply immersed in comic books. Whenever we had spare money, my friend Daniel and I would walk to the comic book store (sometimes a whopping 2 miles away!) and blow our wads. We each had our favorite characters, but sometimes we would make up superheros on our own. On multiple occasions, I would describe a character I had made up to Dan. I would talk about his powers, his costume, and what kind of hero he was (mythical like Thor, mutant like X-Men, alien like Superman, or created like Spider-Man).

Lo and behold, 3 weeks later, Marvel comics has a new superhero who is EXACTLY like the one I made up.

Other things I invented in my head before they became mainstream include: rollerblades, blogs, and portable mp3 players.

I gotta figure out how these corporations keep getting into my head... or maybe I'm just psychic...

i m a 733t typer

2007-10-03T14:18:00.001-06:00

Maybe you have noticed that I have an over-fondness of using the ellipsis (... to you non-English majors) in my typing. I don't know why this is. I think it might have to do with the fact that I wish I could have better comedic timing when I talk, and the ellipsis is my way of trying to provide those pauses.

It's quite funny to me, actually. I can't stand it when people don't use punctuation (text messages and IM aside), but it's rather humorous (in a sad way) when people over-use it, too. There are those who use too many exclamation points or question marks: "I'm here!!" "Where???"

and then there r those idiots all over the internet who dont use ne punctuation at all and dont no the difference between words so your going insane when trying to read there typing.

*Shudder*

Sorry about that, but it's the kind of typing I have to deal with all the time. Try deciphering that everyday. Yuck.

Anyway, I suppose we all have things in the written English language that we feel everyone MUST subscribe to, and things that we let slip because it is "no big deal". What are some of your writing rules?

I can't do it! I don't have the Power!

2007-09-27T12:00:00.001-06:00

I'm going to shoot someone who works at my power substation.

I've been living in my parents' basement for the last little while, and every couple of weeks, they have power issues. One week, three nights in a row, the power was literally up and down every five minutes for 2 hours.

Last night, it must have gone off again. My alarm clock has no battery backup, and it didn't go off. I sat up in bed at 10am. Crap. I also had a computer that was uploading something to a server for work. Guess what didn't finish? Yeah.

I called my boss as I was driving in to let him know I was coming... He hadn't noticed I wasn't there. I just drew attention to it.

So, two and a half hours late for work, and my upload didn't finish. I've got a headache from being stressed first thing in the morning, and now I need to work later. Fun.

Finish the Fight

2007-09-27T11:48:00.000-06:00

A couple of weeks ago, I was in a store looking at car stereos. As I was leaving, I saw a sign for pre-orders of Halo 3. Uh, oh. I vowed not to buy an Xbox 360 until one of two things happened: 1) I could mod it like my current Xbox, or 2) Halo 3. Guess which came first?

So I pre-ordered the game. Unfortunately, I didn't own a console to play it on, so I went back a few days later and bought one. I needed something to play in the interim, so I got Guitar Hero II (fun game, btw).

Well, the day arrived, and I went nuts. Picked up the game, got some decals to stick on my 360, because, hey, why not? Played on easy and beat it in about 5 hours. (Because I wanted to see the story line)

Can I just say, best Halo ever! Loads of fun, good story, great features. I enjoyed some of the easter eggs I found in the game (RvB FTW!) and liked feeling tough as I played a game I know I'm good at.

Now it is time for multiplayer. I've been trying to get something together for some friends to come play. I want to do it at Luke's house, because he has the HD projector and central location. (Some friends are in SLC, others in Provo) Hopefully it will come to fruition this Saturday. If not, we'll still do it, but at my house in SL.

Personalities

2007-09-18T11:02:00.000-06:00

So, in response to a comment I made on his blog, Joel asked if I was being personality #1: Smart-ass. I asked if I had other personalities, and he came up with this list:

#1 Smartass Jer
#2 Rage-a-holic Jer
#3 Computer Genius Jer
#4 Jer, the Star-Crossed Lover
#5 Generous Jer, or Jer the Giver
#6 Witty Jer
#7 Lead-foot Jer
#8 Jer the Middle-Aged Chinese Woman (I've never met her personally)
#9 Jer the Singer
#10 Jer Who Does the Other Musical Stuff Like Play Guitar
#11 Surly Jer, who beats people up for insinuating he has multiple personalities
#12 Jer the Chef, specializing in cold-cuts and fast food

So I've decided to do a series of posts about these personalities. Before I do, does anyone have anything to add or modify on this list?

Bull-Honkey

2007-09-14T12:01:00.001-06:00

My family went to the State Fair last night. My siblings came and brought the kids, and my parents bought all kinds of junk food for us. It was fun. The highlight of the evening for me, however, was the Mechanical Bull. I had never ridden one before, but I think I did pretty well considering I had a headache. My brother in law tried to "spur" the thing, but ended up kicking his shoes off and almost knocked out some girl. My sister headbutted the bull on accident.

The best of all, though, was my dad. Clem has TWO hernias and a bad back. He was stiff as a board riding, and he got flung from the bull and landed about 20 feet away... just past the soft padding you're supposed to land on.

So the funeral's on Friday, and it turns out I get the life insurance money.

Just Kidding. He's fine. But it was really funny to watch a 56-year-old man with back problems trying to ride a mechanical bull and almost snapping his femur bone in half. Really, Dad. If you wanted to feel a bit younger, I'll lend you my car keys, ok?

Mail-Order Brides

2007-09-13T10:21:00.000-06:00

Ok, according to Wikipedia:

The United States Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) reports that "...marriages arranged through these services [mail-order brides] would appear to have a lower divorce rate than the nation as a whole, fully 80 percent of these marriages having lasted over the years for which reports are available." [2] The USCIS also reports that "... mail-order bride and e-mail correspondence services result in 4,000 to 6,000 marriages between U.S. men and foreign brides each year."

So... statistically, I'd be stupid NOT to do it, right?

No, just kidding. I'm not that desperate yet. I still refuse to take internet dating sites seriously. But it is surprising that these kind of marriages last more often than traditional ones. I guess that Rebekah in the Bible was technically a mail-order bride.

Is it because these women typically don't have the power to divorce in their home countries? Is it because they stay married for legal reasons but go their own ways? Or is there something we're missing?

Whatever it is, I guess I won't make fun of Uncle Bob and Aunt Anastassya anymore...

Instructions...

2007-09-11T13:38:00.000-06:00

So, I've recently been turned on to a comic strip called "Basic Instructions". I love the cynical feel of the whole thing and often laugh my pants off, which can be quite embarrassing at work. Anyway, while I was digging through the archives, this one struck a chord:

I'm yellow with envy...

2007-09-06T14:46:00.000-06:00

Ok, so I'm not the first to do this, but here's me as a Simpson's Character:

Woohoo!!!

2007-09-04T13:14:00.000-06:00

No time to post. I'm doing 120 down I-80 in my new car!

Getting Antsy...

2007-08-27T14:21:00.000-06:00

So, I bought a car. Actually, I ordered a car. For those who don't know, I ordered a 2008 Ford Mustang. I settled on the V6 instead of the GT, but whatever. I'm buying eye candy.

Anyway, I ordered it several weeks ago, and have been waiting ever since. The dealership called and told me it would get here sometime during the week of Sept 2nd, but when I went to talk to them last Thursday, they said it was on a train already.

Now I'm getting really impatient. I feel like I've been waiting forever for this thing. It started as a kind of "Welcome to the Real World" and also a "Life sucks, do something nice for yourself" thing. Now it has become a "It's about time" kinda thing.

Funny how something that was originally meant to take my mind off of things and help me just enjoy life is now making me so crazy. Kinda like every girl I've ever dated....

Go to Hell!

2007-08-22T09:59:00.000-06:00

So, my friend Joel did a post on his blog about his own personal hell. Rather than just comment on his blog, I figured I'd make a post of my own about it. (What? I'm supposed to be original?)

So, in my own personal hell, nobody, including myself would ever shower. People would smell like mold. Everyone would also be coughing and sniffling all the time. People would drive 10 mph below the speed limit, and they would go side-by-side, so you couldn't pass. Everyone would be 20 minutes late, but events would always start on time. I'd always have to wait for them. Bench seats would not allow enough room for someone with shoulders like mine to sit comfortably... I'd have to hunch over.

.... This is starting to sound like a typical work day for me.....

Yeah, as if you even noticed.

2007-08-22T09:58:00.000-06:00

So, I haven't posted in a while. I've been out of town. What's it to you?

Me, me, ME!

2007-08-03T09:30:00.000-06:00

I am WAY too literally minded. When somebody tells me they'll call me back in five minutes, I'm checking my watch four minutes and forty-five seconds later. When I leave a message for somebody to call me, I keep my cell phone in hand for an hour after, waiting for the call.

At the same time, I exaggerate beyond belief. If somebody has told me to do something twice, I'll complain that they told me five times already. If I've been waiting for ten minutes, I'll whine that it has been half an hour.

This started as a post about the dual nature people can sometimes have, but now as I look at it, I realize it's just selfishness. My little world revolves around me, and apparently, I have a problem when other people don't revolve around me as well.

There's an eye-opener at 9 am.

No, no! Anything but that!

2007-07-27T10:10:00.000-06:00

We all have irrational fears. My greatest irrational fear is of clowns. They scare the crap out of me. People ask if it is because of the movie IT. The answer is no, but that movie didn't help things.

I had a friend once who was terrified of ovens. He had never burned himself with one, known anyone who had been injured by one, or even seen evidence of a major oven-related injury, but the things just scared him. He didn't learn to use an oven until he was 23.

As a kid, I overheard my dad talking about rats in the south, how they would climb through the pipes and enter the house through the toilet. As a result, I wouldn't sit down all the way until I was 10.

Why do we have these kinds of stupid fears? What is it about our psyche that requires us to be scared of lame things? There is no survival instinct related to my fear of clowns. If anything, I should be scared of women.

What are your irrational fears? Are they truly irrational?

The Grass is Always Greener

2007-07-24T11:54:00.001-06:00

A strange thing occurred to me today. I'm in a good mood for no apparent reason. The stresses of work haven't subsided, I still have no social life of which to speak, and I'm still short, fat, and bald, but I'm in a good mood.

I'm used to bad moods for no reason. I seem to get one of those days at least twice a month. I'm just surly. No rhyme or reason to it.

I often wonder if I'm just a little imbalanced, or if other people have these kinds of mood swings. I know from experience that my moods can be tempered by good things happening in my life, but I have no idea why I sometimes swing from one extreme to the other.

Anyway, I hope this lasts, because being a pessimistic person with an inferiority complex is easier when you're happy for no reason. :)

..And a cup of loyalty, super-sized

2007-07-19T13:50:00.000-06:00

I don't know what has happened to customer service in this country. It seems that nine times out of ten, some company really couldn't care less if I'm satisfied. I feel like consumers are taken advantage of all the time.

I remember when I bought a huge 64oz refillable mug to take to work with me. It was from convenience store A and had their logo on it. One day, I stopped at convenience store B for gas and to fill up my mug. The refill cost 59 cents. The clerk saw my mug and told me for the same 59 cents, they'd trade my (store A) mug for a (store B) mug, and every time I filled up at (store B) with that mug, I'd get my refills for 49 cents.

I took the deal without thinking much about it, but as I was driving away, I realized "hey, they just bought my loyalty for 10 cents of soda!"

And it was true. I went there to fill up all the time after that. It wasn't so much the money, it was that they were TRYING to get and keep me as a customer. They treated me as if my small amount of business was worth their time. As a result, I probably ended up spending hundreds of dollars on gas there that would have gone to another company... all for an offer of 10 cents off soda.

What happened to the days when companies really competed for prices and tried hard to treat customers well? What happened to "the customer is always right?" It seems that many big companies have turned the other way and have teamed up against customers as if to say "what are you going to do about it?"

I for one am going to keep looking for those customer-centric businesses and giving them my business.

Bedtime Revelations

2007-07-18T10:17:00.001-06:00

For some people, the best ideas come in the shower. For me, they come in bed, as I'm trying to fall asleep. Laying there, it becomes easy to either disconnect from my problems and think of solutions, or to go completely the other way and feel sorry for myself.

With my recent break-up, many people have been telling me I need to find the lesson I needed to learn from it. Last night in bed, I think I found it. Simply put, I need to like me for me. I can't let my self esteem be directed by whether or not somebody else cares about me. Besides, how can someone else truly care about me if I don't like myself unless they like me which they won't because i don't like me because.... it's a vicious cycle.

Time to end the cycle. Now to think of things I like about myself... let's see.....

Oh, well. I've done enough. I'll get to that part tomorrow.

Zombified

2007-07-17T15:30:00.000-06:00

47%

Apparently, I have some work to do... What's your zombie plan?

Brain Damage

2007-07-16T13:42:00.000-06:00

I got in a fender-bender today. I was pulling out of a parking stall when a lady in a minivan decided to back up so she could get into the stall next to me. I had pulled out very slowly and saw her coming. I came to a complete stop, she did not.

As I watched her unabated approach, I hit my horn and held it down. She then smashed into me with her rear bumper.

We both pulled into parking stalls and proceeded to observe the damage. Luckily, it seemed there was very little, and we both decided that it wasn't worth getting insurance involved. We exchanged phone numbers just in case and went on.

So here's the thing? Why did I have the presence of mind to come to a complete stop and lay on the horn, but not to shift back into drive and get out of the way? Further, why did she have the presence of mind to see the spot next to me as open, but not see me pulling out or honking? She never even looked at her mirrors. Why do our brains do that to us?

Something about being in the moment makes those obvious decisions hard. It's easy to sit at home and belittle the people who lose at "Are you smarter than a 5th grader", but when you're the one up there in the spotlight, you lose some of that disconnect and can't think as clearly.

Funny how everyone else seems to be a moron until it's you in that position.

Real Life vs the Internet

2007-07-13T09:47:00.000-06:00

I play a game called World of Warcraft. Now, those of you who know what this is are either shaking your heads in disgust or nodding because you play it too. For those who don't know, it is an online game where you run around as a character and complete quests, conquer dungeons, upgrade your armor and weapons, and fight the opposing faction. (Players can be either Alliance or Horde, and you're against each other)

In the game, you form groups called "guilds". In these guilds, you work together with other players. You spend a lot of time working together, and friendships can be formed.

So why do my real-life family and friends look at me funny when I tell them I have plans to go online because people are waiting for me? Is there any difference in making plans to play a game with online friends and going to the movies with local ones? It's not like I'm sitting by myself for hours on end, I'm actually interacting with people and doing something I enjoy. Thoughts?

Bees! Bees everywhere!

2007-07-12T13:15:00.000-06:00

It's funny how people can get on our nerves and the lengths we will go to get back at them.

So, today I discovered that one of the signs for handicap parking at my building has a wasp nest in it. As I was thinking about it, I noticed that one of the guys in the office that I don't like has a habit of lightly kicking things as he walks past (doorways, poles, my chair).

So I find myself wondering: is there a way I can convince him that he hast to park in the stall next to the handicap one?

I wonder if he's allergic to bee stings....

I give up.

2007-07-12T12:38:00.000-06:00

Well, it seems everyone has a blog these days. I've fought back and resisted, but I can't take anymore. Apparently, I'm supposed to have one to keep my "friends" informed.... I don't know who these people are, but if they're my friends, can they contact me... and maybe lend me 5 bucks?

Just kidding.